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hi again

i am so busy!!!!! getting ready for an art show on dec 6th, bought a lot of frames and am broke again. cashed in my death insurance to buy frames. hey. money no good when i am dead.

need a housekeeper badly…. i suck at it.


complicated one, so , let me see what i can remember.

i was in nyc, and meeting up with some one, i think Wolfi, and sharing a strange motel room that was like a dorm and science lab.

i was also able to come back to Rochester too and had a motorcycle i was driving around the city, and it was full of construction, like it is, but had garbage in the construction areas too that was disgusting. I had this pet following me, and it was like a big brown dog and a llama and mongoose, it was not an animal i have seen before, but docile and obedient and loyal. It was running with me and i was driving around downtown coming from my parent's house and getting a condom or two from it. i was looking for the portal to nyc again. it connected me in teleport. drove over piles of garbage with some difficulty. howard spindler, music piano teacher from eastman, was in a building i went into, and commented on the pet i had. i had name for it, and was trying to say it and remember what i named it, but had issues remembering it. he called it a mongoose.

when i was in my room, wolf texted me. i was trying to text back and send pic of a condom.

in nyc, it was a school or college. i had a show of my art in a gallery on campus going on. i drove the motorcycle there and into the building and was following the mongoose dog and it went through the wall like it was a door and i tried but the bike slammed through it and made a hole, luckily there was no art hanging at the spot. into the next hallway. previous to going back to Rochester, i was in a room cuddling with Wolfi after saying how he always said we would spoon and he was not doing that yet, since we slept there a day and separate, and so he was inviting me to spoon, so i went and got the condom just in case. in a room next to the room was not lights off but asian people having a meeting, even though me and wolf were trying to sleep, so i got up to see what was on the presentation easel they had, and saw my artwork that i was making. they were looking at it and commenting on a monster i made. smiling. i was, oh, since they were drawing on it and talking about it, it was a copy not the real painting, a pic of it. i was, we need to sleep. they had these meetings every freaking night until like 2 am. i was annoyed at them.

in the building, i explored and the place was also my grammar school as well as RIT and Pratt colleges. i was following a girl, and went into a room with sleep studies happening and saw through the window going in a couple, guy and girl, hooked up to sensors for keg stuff and a monitor, and they were young like college age. it was in a cubby, the next had others hooked up and monitored. the first two were messing around sexually a bit but trying to behave since it was against the rules. the girl said hi to the lab technicians and professor in charge of the night class study thing. she went to a white table and there was lines of cocaine there and she sniffed one. excused myself and went to the bathroom laboratory. i was trying to go to the bathroom.

there was a seminar or an open house or something official happening on campus for the weekend. i remember people being labeled with a white circle with an concentric one inside it and a dot in the center, it was like nazi labeling prisoners. i saw a concentration camp with barbed wire and dusty rocky dirt ground and a prisoner inside it with this target like symbol on his arm. the government was rounding up people and putting them in here . i saw the symbol on the electric barbed wire fence too. when i was in the grammar school sleep lab i was scared i would be arrested for being there and put into a concentration camp like this one. the government monitored all of us and if we did something they did not approve of, they made the person into a prisoner and put them into a camp.

i was at the top of a long concrete step seat auditorium, like a stadium, where people sat on the steps and a stage down below. lots of people here, sat on the left dies of the steps that led up to the top steps to sit on. there was a lot of people there sitting and waiting for an event on the stage. a few official people came in and pardoned themselves for interrupting, but had to conduct a search. they slowly made their way up the steps to me. they were looking at the sketchbooks i had with my art and studies for my paintings inside of. this one heavy set man who was maybe the president of the college, was impressed and asking me questions about the drawings. i gave him two business cards and told him my art was on display in the gallery there now. he said he would buy one. i said that made me happy and thanked him. he went and sat further left and was looking through a sketchbook i had. he was perturbed that the college had a concert and forgot to tell him since he would have liked to attend it. when i attended it , i was told he was in the audience, but, apparently not so. it was a green flyer inside my sketchbook.

i remember a group of people in a pool with the water raising and an electric plug inside the pool, and i was worried since the water was going into the plug and scared they would be electrocuted.


i'm back!

hello my old friends. I am back again,

BDSM quiz results

You Scored as Switch

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.)))

You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.











Exhibitionist / Voyeur






Degradation Lover




what is very strange is lately i have been talking to characters in my dreams out loud! i am half asleep and i find myself talking out loud to people who are in my dream... this just started about maybe a month to three months ago.i am here, drifting into sleep on my computer.... and i hear my voice asking a question, replying to a question, making a statement, directing or instructing a character i see in my dream and interacting with them. It is strange.

i am pretty sure my artist in here is very young and very shy. i have called her Bambi.... like a timid deer that runs away at the slightest provocation. she has been out in my DePaul PROS classes drawing as group happens.....

my spender and my space organizer and cleaner are running rampet lately....not good.

been surfing and reading....

reading things in the fetlife.com site from groups i started there and i posted a few things ....my handle there is truthseekrArtist..... on Second Life it is truthseekrArtist Xevion, almost the same for the main avi i have.

today, in classes, we talked about how humans are animals and how animals have a need to be social.... thought about the movie "Castaway" and how the fellow went bonkers and turned a soccer ball, Wilson, into a buddy to talk to. then in the DBT class about the witness observer that wise mind it... like watching a movie... you detach and watch your emotions to situations and apply logical mind to emotional mind and try to control the behavior and responses you have in stressful situations that trigger things....

basically, you work on yourself and that will attract the healthy one to you if you are healthy... some times... the father of your child is not the healthy one to live with forever with. this is what my situation was... my son is the age of my ex when i married him.... his dad was his age when he got married... omg... we were too young! not mature enough to understand what it meant yet.some times the father of your child should have just bee a close friend instead.

a few movies were mentioned in that class too."Karate Kid" the newest one.... for mindfulness.. and "Eat Pray Love" with Julia Roberts for an other one. i saw the movie "Thor" with son today..... and when waiting, some neat kids were hanging out with us at the ice cream shop and i bought them ice cream.... one called elliot a greek god. which is funny because his college professor called him that. they did not know this. very strange.

the movie Thor makes me wonder about other beings from other planets and realms that may be connected to us.... the 9 realms... Viking and such..... makes me think. we are being fought over by different aliens wanting to control our fate.... makes you wonder?